First, Katie and I went to Thai Cuisine; we have become grossly obsessed with Pad Thai and Thai Coffee. Also, with each other. It was the best date I've ever been on for reasons stemming directly from sheer laziness and the inability to make decisions, meaning Katie pretty much dominated me and I submitted qualm free. I love going out with her because unlike a man she does not make me feel totally useless when I can't think of a restaurant, or don't want to try anything new when we get there, or don't want to drive. Additionally, she does this in a tactful and semi-subtle way that almost makes me feel as though I have contributed to the night.
Note (while cuddled on the couch):
K: We should eat soon, what do you think?
D: Uh yeah, I am pretty hungry. I don't know. (useless waste of space response, can't even announce hunger without it being suggested)
K: Wanna like get Thai Food or something? (the "or something" is key here because while she has already successfully planted the Thai Itch, she leaves it open for discussion, like if I would ever want something else we could do that.)
D: No, Thai sounds great, want me to drive? (really I don't mean that, because she has heated seats and I don't)
K: Um, I don't care, I mean I have heated seats so.. (Yes! Toasty Butt, here I come)
When we get to the restaurant, she humors me by letting me open and close the menu several times feigning creativity as if I wasn't ordering what I always do, and she wasn't ordering the exact same thing. Then the waitress walks over, looks at me, realizes I am low-functioning as I sit there dumb-struck and panicky and asks Katie what she would like.
K: Vegetarian Pad Thai, and she will have that too with Crab Rangoon.
W: So you will both have Pad Thai with Rangoon?
K: No, she will have Rangoon, I will have veggie rolls, and we will both have Pad Thai
W: Good, anything else?
D: (desperate attempt to be helpful) Coffee!
W: (clearly irritated) Hot coffee oooor Thai Iced Coffee?
K: Thai Iced Coffee please, and water for both of us.
Conversation with the waitress continued in this fashion for the remainder of the evening. Apparently deemed as no more than a noodle-slurping-ding-dong, the idea that I would pay the check was far-fetched and it was handed to Katie. Making her the official Date-Dictator and much to my merriment.
She then carted my toasty ass home, and boozed me up box-o-wine style, never not once asking for a blow-job. Hence, best date ever.
Consequently, today I am suffering the mother of all hang-overs and making small goals for myself. Like trying to keep both eyes open at the same time while simultaneously forming coherent sentences. So far? Impossible.
Check ya later people.
Image Via weheartit.
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