Winter Time

Though I have to admit I would trade this season for Summer and Fall all the time, I am very much enjoying the comforts of Winter this year. With school on the back burner for a few weeks I've been able to spend more time reading, cooking, and relaxing with friends and really, who doesn't love that?

Here are a few shots from the Winter months compiled over 2009 and 2010.

Here's hoping your Christmas was warm and cozy!

Currently Reading:

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close,
by Jonathan Safran Foer.
 

Not nearly finished yet, only 100 pages or so in but please pick it up the next time you're at a bookstore.

Littered with beautiful imagery and food for thought, the novel's unique composition serves as concrete testimony to the awe-inspiring commentary within.

Plus, it has pictures. Lots of 'em.

So far much of the novel is dedicated to solving mysteries and making connections. As a personal project, though I'm not sure I'm the first to undertake it, I've been underlining every "extremely loud" and "incredibly close."

Happy Reading!

Looking for a Laugh?

Why not bathe in my misfortune today folks? As you may or may not know I am employed as Seasons Scum, the affectionate term coined for a receptionist at The Seasons Assisted Living Home.

My duties include, but are not limited to:
kissing ass,
cutting up scrap paper,
directing calls,
filing files,
depositing checks,
and my all time favorite, shredding paper.
Thrilling, right?

Well, today was a little different. Blessed with a co-worker who simply adores these demeaning and menial tasks, all of my "work" was done. Leaving virtually nothing for me to do but be bombarded by angry residents, one in particular, who ugh so help me god if she comes over here one more time before this cursed shift ends. I should have known it was going to be rough when the aforementioned co-worker greeted me not with hello but with "If Room 100 dies, I won't be upset, as in today, if she dies today, I'll be glad." Ooookay.

Obviously sensing a shift-change with her finely tuned hearing aid, about five minutes after Blessed Co-Worker left, Mrs. Room 100 baited her accomplice (or personal CNA) into wheeling her out of her lair to harass me. This is the conversation that ensued:

100:  "THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH MY PHONE." She screeches as while barely able to peer menacingly over the counter top.
D: "Oh, Hello Mrs. _____, the other receptionist told me about the problem Cox will be in as soon as they can to fix it." I lamely reply after failing to successfully hide under said counter top.
100: "WELL WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? Soon! Soon?!?!?!?! I NEED ASSISTANCE, this is assisted living is it not!? Don't they know I need a phone!?"

*Cue Accomplice to look horrified and shrug her shoulders.*

D: "Um, well they didn't specify a time exactly, just err whenever they can. It's not a problem with our facility, Cox Servers, (what the fuck does that even mean?) are down."
100: "FORGET IT, SEND THE NURSE IN. Can you at least do that? Or is that too difficult?" The vein in her forehead is at peak bursting temp now.
D: " No ma'am, I'll send her right away." (Damn it.)

Accomplice wheels Mrs. Room 100 back to her lair, a whole 30 feet away from the desk. Leaving me to think, Jesus Fucking Christ, why don't you just prop open her door so she can hurl grenades at me from her apartment? Wouldn't that be more effective than encouraging the 90 year old Satanist to come over here and render me incompetent every fifteen minutes or so? Fuck this, I'm going to go shred some more paper, save a bit of my dignity.

The day pretty much down spiraled from here. I think the highlight was when Gold Tooth's (Mr. 108) daughter-in-law cussed me out for calling when her husband was clearly busy bringing in groceries. You know, because I fucking knew right?

Thankfully, Pub is happening now and I can probably score a snack. And thanks be to God if I do because for supper they are having the classic Saturday Night Hot Dogs and Beans. Gag.

Unlike Me

Posting twice in a day, that is. But I spent a grotesque amount of time blogging today, which is hard when you're so keen on absorbing, and I wanted to share with you some of what I read.

First up,
http://royalquietdeluxe.blogspot.com/

Because it is insanely inspirational, thought provoking and choppy enough to make you work. The posts are usually clips of poems, novels, songs, movies, whatever; and you have to really click around, follow the links, read, and look up where they are coming from to understand fully the importance of them. But each one is so damn interesting that you just want more and it's easy because the archives are so extensive. Plus she has pictures.

And second,
http://www.kissssing.blogspot.com/

This Porter Hovey person has another blog, and it is damn cute and will be sure to make your heart swoon.

So be swept away for a little lovelies, and take a break to click through these.

Holy Hangover

 

Here is a recap of last night:

First, Katie and I went to Thai Cuisine; we have become grossly obsessed with Pad Thai and Thai Coffee. Also, with each other. It was the best date I've ever been on for reasons stemming directly from sheer laziness and the inability to make decisions, meaning Katie pretty much dominated me and I submitted qualm free. I love going out with her because unlike a man she does not make me feel totally useless when I can't think of a restaurant, or don't want to try anything new when we get there, or don't want to drive. Additionally, she does this in a tactful and semi-subtle way that almost makes me feel as though I have contributed to the night.
Note (while cuddled on the couch):
K: We should eat soon, what do you think?
D: Uh yeah, I am pretty hungry. I don't know. (useless waste of space response, can't even announce hunger without it being suggested)
K: Wanna like get Thai Food or something? (the "or something" is key here because while she has already successfully planted the Thai Itch, she leaves it open for discussion, like if I would ever want something else we could do that.)
D: No, Thai sounds great, want me to drive? (really I don't mean that, because she has heated seats and I don't)
K: Um, I don't care, I mean I have heated seats so.. (Yes! Toasty Butt, here I come)

When we get to the restaurant, she humors me by letting me open and close the menu several times feigning creativity as if I wasn't ordering what I always do, and she wasn't ordering the exact same thing. Then the waitress walks over, looks at me, realizes I am low-functioning as I sit there dumb-struck and panicky and asks Katie what she would like.

K: Vegetarian Pad Thai, and she will have that too with Crab Rangoon.
W: So you will both have Pad Thai with Rangoon?
K: No, she will have Rangoon, I will have veggie rolls, and we will both have Pad Thai
W: Good, anything else?
D: (desperate attempt to be helpful) Coffee!
W: (clearly irritated) Hot coffee oooor Thai Iced Coffee?
K: Thai Iced Coffee please, and water for both of us.

Conversation with the waitress continued in this fashion for the remainder of the evening. Apparently deemed as no more than a noodle-slurping-ding-dong, the idea that I would pay the check was far-fetched and it was handed to Katie. Making her the official Date-Dictator and much to my merriment.

She then carted my toasty ass home, and boozed me up box-o-wine style, never not once asking for a blow-job. Hence, best date ever.

Consequently, today I am suffering the mother of all hang-overs and making small goals for myself. Like trying to keep both eyes open at the same time while simultaneously forming coherent sentences. So far? Impossible.

Check ya later people.

Image Via weheartit.