A Side Note

If you are suffering from atrial fibrillation and need immediate medical attention, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES REQUEST MY HELP. I am useless. You'll die.

INT. SEASONS FRONT DESK- NIGHT

Quiet evening, low traffic. Residents Shuffle in and out of Dining Room. Girl Scout Cookies are in, there is an overall peaceful and joyous atmosphere. DANIELLE sits quietly at the desk, dreaming of grilled cheese as promised by benevolent chef. Suddenly, commotion!

A CNA in brightly colored scrubs, frantically waving a stethoscope rushes over to the desk.

CNA
(shouting)
Call 911!

DANIELLE breaks into instant sweat. Panic. Dread.
(Silently) What's wrong? Why? Who's hurt? What do I say? What's 911's number?
Thinks. Idiot. She dials.

RING

CNA runs away, walkie talkies BUZZ, people YELL.
RING again.
RING a third time.

DANIELLE
(loud and irritated)
911!? WHAT THE FUCK. SHOULDN'T YOU HAVE ANSWERED BEFORE I DIALED? THIS. IS. AN. EMERGENC--

OPERATOR
(cold and distant)
Police Fire Medical?

DANIELLE (embarrassed)
oh hello. uh what? sorry what did you ask? Fire medical police? Medical. I think, HEY GUYS WHAT HAPPENED AGAIN?

OPERATOR
Hold please.

DANIELLE
(dumbfounded)
Oh, I'm being transferred, why thank you.

PRESUMED FIRE FIGHTER
(calm and collected)
East Greenwich Fire Department, what is the problem?

DANIELLE
(confused as fuck, and needing MEDICAL NOT FIRE)
Fire department? No, no I wanted MEDICAL. Um, can you transf-no, nevermind.
She debates hanging up.
I'm sorry, you see I wanted medical.

OPERATOR (shouting)
IT'S THE SAME THING.

DANIELLE
Swearing inwardly, simultaneously preparing angry letter requesting immediate change of 911 call transfer protocol. She thinks to herself: "A and B conversation, LADY, C your way out!" 
Oh, oh crap. Okay, sorry I just thought that since you asked, and then he said fire dept. Um, okay well it's medical and we're located--

OPERATOR
(now furious)
WE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. WHAT IS THE ROOM NUMBER?

DANIELLE
(defeated, she quietly croaks)
Sandra!? Sandra, what's the room number? 
Sandra snatches the phone.

SANDRA
(wildly efficient and wonderful)
Hello, this is the nurse. Yes, yes, uh huh. Right. Thank you.

CLICK

DANIELLE looks up to find everyone has left, she sulks and stares shamefully at her feet. She smooths the hairs on her arm to one side, and takes a deep breath. She remembers the grilled cheese. She ponders if she deserves it or if she should check on resident who's life is at stake. No. She dials the kitchen.
RING...

END SCENE.